Today is my first day as a single adult. I've been divorced for 12 years, but I've been "mom" all that time. Now, my daughter has flown the coop. So I am back to being a real single adult. It's not all bad, I have to admit. But it's weird. It's like when you are in the habit of putting your keys on a certain table, and then you rearrange the furniture. For a while, you still try to put the keys there. Then it hits you oh..the table's not there. But you find another place to put your keys and it gets comfortable again. That's what it's like...maybe...I hope! Because right now, it's really sad for me when I think, oh I have to remember to tell her....and then realize I might have to remember for a week or more. This at my age might be a little difficult!
But there are high points as well. Everything I spent $100 at the stores on today will be mine. I won't open the freezer to get one of my favorite Pina Colada Frozen Treats and find that the box is there but the treats are gone. I will reach for the toilet paper and it will actually be on the dispenser with the paper facing out the correct direction. When I go look for my toothpaste, it will be on the sink, not in the shower. (don't ask..lol) I can eat FISH for dinner!!!
But I won't hear her laugh as much, and I won't get to watch her as she changes and grows, but she will change and grow without me, and after all, that's how it should be.
So it's a bittersweet day as she takes her last load out to the car and drives off. Looking toward the future with hopefulness and determination, she drives into the world. My days of protecting are done. I can no longer hold on to the little girl who was. I now will make friends with the young woman I raised. She's a good kid. Lots of heart, caring, and beautiful. I helped make her that way. It's up to her what she makes of her life from this point on.
From now on, when I go to reach for my keys, I will remember that this is a normal part of life and it's time for ME now. I have to figure out what to do with myself after so many years of putting someone else first. I have plans, just need to figure out how to implement them.
So I guess in a way, we are both growing up today. I love her so much, and I wish her all the happiness and success in the world. Fly away, little birdie!
