This is a test... of Murphy's Law!

Murphy's Law: anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

This statement is one that I really try to not invoke. I believe in thinking postively as long as possible. But there are days where things are so messed up that it has to be dubbed a "Murphy" day. There's even a website about it http://www.murphys-laws.com/. Check it out.
Well, today was one of those days. I know that there were many other things that could've gone wrong, and I am so thankful that they didn't. But even so, it was a frustrating day!
I was expecting my to-your-door mechanic to come by last night and replace the ignition pack on my car. He was unable to do so, but we set up for him to come by today. I was so excited about being able to drive again, I was almost happy to be going to work! He replaced the ignition pack, which was totally melted by the way, and tried to start the car. It didn't start. He said that it needed a tune-up and that was probably what caused the ignition pack to melt in the first place. Unfortunately, he didn't have time to work on that this morning. It was around 10:30, and he had to be at work at noon. By the time he got everything all put away, it was 11:00. He said he would take me to his house and his sister (who didnt have to work until 2) would take me the rest of the way to work. Fortunately, he called her and she said she also had to be at work at noon. So we are hanging halfway out into the street at this time, with cars honking, and I'm saying never mind, I'll call my daughter. See, she had told me last night that she had to be at work at 2:30 today. So I called her. She didn't answer, but then she called me back....from work. Turns out she had to be there at 10:30. Everybody else was already at work, of course, so I called in and told them I wouldn't be there.
Meanwhile, I called the maintenance man about the plumbing. Seems the toilet has been rocking quite a bit, and lately when it is flushed, you can kinda, well...hear it in the pipes. He came in, flushed the toilet. Nothing. I said...I don't believe this. So, I rocked the toilet, then flushed it. Overflow. Water everywhere. He plunged, it came up in the bathtub. Thank God it was only water! He left, promising to call Roto-rooter. I've not heard a thing since. That's all the information I will give except to say, he'd better show up tomorrow!
The thing is...I don't know...maybe I'm learning to deal with disappointment. Maybe I need to learn to assert myself more in these situations. But since I had to stay home, I wanted to clean the kitchen, wash dishes, do laundry, which are all things that use the drain. I wasn't able to do any of them. Of course, I also had to arrange for a ride to and from work tomorrow, which is no problem (I hope..) and my daughter had to come get me to take me to the gas station so I don't miss out on my 7000 bonus Speedy Reward points. Gotta have those priorities! So, see...it could've been much worse. I mean, the tub could've backed up when I was taking a shower...right?
But it's really kind of interesting. Although I am frustrated and just a little disgusted with people who don't return important phone calls JEFF, I feel surprisingly hopeful. Maybe all these things are getting over with at the first of the year. Maybe the rest of the year will be better. Maybe I have learned how to overcome Murphy's Law. We'll call it Karen's law... Anything that can go wrong MIGHT go wrong, but most times it's only SOME things. I think I like that better.

Light at the end of the tunnel....

Yes, indeed! Light! Light at the end of the tunnel! Hopefully it's not a freight train coming my way (No Leaf Clover-Metallica)
Car problems, car problems! I hate them with a passion. A friend of mine told me they need to make a Karen-proof car, and I think she's right. I'm really hard on cars for some reason. Guess I should've called that college on tv so I could earn money doing what I love, and work with my hands. Wait...that would be crafting...oh well. So today a mechanic made a house call, and it looks like I'm not going to have to pay a fortune for car repairs. In fact, I'm going to be paying close to the same amount I would've squandered on a stupid pyramid scheme. Sis is gonna loan me the money til my tax check comes, so it's only a week or so til I have some freedom again. You would think my house would be spotless by now, but..well...I hate housework! I'm looking forward to the time I can have Rosie the Robot living in my house cleaning up behind me. So yaaaay for the car, and yaaay for my sister, and yaaay for tax refunds, and well...just yaaaay! lol
I don't understand why a city like Indianapolis would have such a lousy mass transit system. I know a few years ago they even removed some bus routes, so people have even less of a chance to get to where they need to go. I drive 14 miles to work every day. It's not that far, really. I know there are people who drive a lot further. But the thing is, there is no way to get there from here unless you drive a car! No bus, no train, no subway, no nothing. It's really sad because people are so big on reducing pollution, but they don't do anything to help! So, I have to have this car, and until I can afford a Beamer, she's gonna have to do. No car payments either, cause I am just barely making it as it is! Eventually I know I'll have to break down and get one, but hopefully I will have started making money selling my crafts online.
I'm rambling, but I'm just thankful for all the people who have helped me during this time. It's just awesome!

Happy New Year?

I have to say as I begin this post, that everything I said in my New Year's post is true. I still believe every last word. That is why it is so hard for me to admit that this New Year so far has not been good at all. In fact, I am suffering from some of the worst depression I've had in a long time. Not exactly sure why, but I am trying to put my finger on it.
I started out the year with car trouble. Car trouble always sucks, but when it's below zero wind chills outside and I have to rely on others to get me to and from work, then it gets stressful. I was so stressed out all week that today I didn't go to work. I wasn't sick...physically, anyway...but I just knew somehow that even though my car would most likely start, I needed to stay home. I woke up and called in to work, sat down on the couch and proceeded to sleep (sitting up!) until 1:15 when my sister called to make sure I was alive. Thank God she called or I might still be sitting there snoozing even now. (12 hours later)
Hopefully, there won't be repercussions from my being out today. If there are, I am willing to accept that. Because I think I figured out something.
I don't know how to live without being in pain! For the past 7 years or so, I have lived with this constant crippling arthritis pain in my knees. It has been my reason, and sometimes my excuse, to not do much of anything. Now, I don't have that pain. I have no reason to not do the things I need or want to do. I have spent the past couple of months sitting in front of this computer playing all manner of mindless games just like I did before. Not to say that there's anything wrong with playing games, but in my mind I'm still a cripple. I still tell myself I can't do things. This is a huge part of my problem, my depression. I need to tell myself I CAN do it! Having my knees replaced has turned my life around, yet I keep looking back. I cannot do that any more.
I have to start right now, today, doing things that are difficult. Doing the things that I used to put off because I hurt. I think over the years I just got lazy (er..)and now it's just a struggle to not be lazy anymore. I can do this. I know I can...I can actually reach my bootstraps now to pull myself up. Today is the day. Things are going to change, and I hope that in a few weeks, I will be able to post here that they have indeed changed. There are other things I have to deal with, of course. I don't like my job, I'm lonely, I don't make enough money. But these are things that will take care of themselves in the passage of time AFTER I learn to live with my new physical UNlimitations!
Keep pulling for me, friends!

Happy New Year!

Well, it's 2010. I don't think that much is like the movie 2010, which is something for which we should be thankful. It's so funny...it's just another day, January 1. The sun rises just like it does every other day. The weather continues as it was on December 31. The bills that were supposed to be paid on December 28 are still due. Nothing really changes. Yet in my mind, it is like closing a finished book and putting it on the shelf. Then another book is opened, waiting to be explored. I asked a guy yesterday if he had a good Christmas and New Year. He shrugged and said, "It was just another day." And...he's right..it was just another day. So what makes January 1 so different? We do. We make it different. In the minds of those of us who choose to celebrate this "just another day", it is an official time to start over. Whether with resolutions or, as with most of the people I have talked to, a time to get rid of a not so great year and start a new, more promising one. I have made resolutions, but have decided to defy tradition and not start most of them til January 4. I am cheating! But one resolution that I have already begun is to be more positive about my life. I don't want to have a Pollyanna attitude by any means. But I've learned that what we think is what we are. So if I believe that I can make things different, then I can. It's the belief part that is difficult, though. Start small, I guess. Baby steps.
For instance, "I hate housework" has been my motto for years. My house, unfortunately, reflects that motto. My messy house, in turn, makes me feel depressed, which makes me feel bad about the rest of my life. Eventually I get to the point where I just ignore the mess, and just allow myself to get more and more depressed. Today I looked around and thought, I need for Neicy Nash to come see me!! I need to be on Clean House! I am happy that my house isn't THAT bad yet, but I made a vow this morning that I'm going to make my house back to a nice place. Me. Not Neicy and Matt and Mark and that whiney Trish...eek...Me. I am going to start small and do the things that need to be done. And I will do them for MYSELF. Not for anyone else. After all, I am the one who lives here. I have said for the past few months that it doesn't matter what it looks like because I am the only one who sees it. Well, am I not worth seeing a nice place? I deserve to have a nice place. I've worked hard to get it. So it's time. (I just realized, though, that instead of being in there cleaning, I'm in here writing...lol..oh well...)
So, my one resolution that I am beginning right now is to believe that I am deserving of good things. As with most good things, I will have to take the first step, and that is what I will do.
So, why do we celebrate a new year? Because it is an official opportunity to start over and make the life for ourselves that we want to have. It is the time when we decide to change our attitudes toward something that we have allowed to color our lives gray and dingy. Wipe away the soot from the windows and see the sunshine. It's very possible that the thing we have allowed to do this will still be around. Even so, our thoughts can change so that we aren't colored by this thing anymore. We can paint our own picture. Not Pollyanna by any means, and certainly not with feigned ignorance...but it is amazing the difference just one positive thought can make in a situation. One stand against the negative can make the next stand easier.
I know I will be tested on this. I will win some, I will fail some. I may not know what your situation is like. But that's the whole point. We each have to make the choice. I'm scared, believe me. I have things that I need to face that no one knows about, as do we all. I am afraid of the failure. But I'm tired of waking up every day and feeling like I'm worthless. I am NOT worthless. YOU are not worthless. If we all lived like we were worth something, would our world be better? I think it might.
My thought for the year:
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, my friend, anyone can start from now and make a brand new end. ~ Carl Bard

Let's make it a good year!