Recovering from Vacation

Ahhhhh....Vacation! What a wonderful word! The very thought of it brings images of beaches, mountains, slot machines (for some). An awesome thing. But the most awesome image the word brings up is TIME OFF WORK!!
Even people who love their jobs love time off work. It's freedom. Freedom to do whatever they want without having to punch a time clock. Time without worrying about that deadline or schedules, or even having to get dressed! Ahhhhh.....Vacation!

It's the time to drink all the beer you can possibly get your hands on. The time to introduce the family to Monster Shots (a moment of silence, please........................)

It's the time to go swimming, get bruised in all sorts of places, in other words, have a FREAKIN BALL!!!

Ok, so my vacation was obviously the latter one. My daughter and I were going to go to the beach, but we just didn't have time. We did drive up one side and down the other of a mountain, so maybe that does count. Not sure...No slot machines...that's my best friend's obsession. I'm a Blackjack girl, myself. But I'm getting off track.

Remember what I said about not worrying about schedules? Well, that wasn't entirely true. We did have a schedule. It looked something like this: arrive at sister's house Thursday night, go to bed. Get up Friday go to nephew's house, spend two nights, come back to house, spend time with Mom, visit with High School friends, go see the new Twilight movie (oh Edward!), leave for home on Tuesday. That was the schedule. Sounds a little boring, huh?

Oh nooooo! Boring was not a word I would use to describe this schedule! It was a blowout! An all out beer-drinking, shot-taking, guitar-playing, bruise-making blowout!

My daughter turned out to be a very good driver. She does think that the speed limit in every state is 85 mph, but she does really good at that speed. We sang and talked and laughed all the way to Georgia. Good times.

We arrived at my sister Vicki's house at about 8 PM on Thursday night. We were sitting out on the porch smoking, having long since been banned from smoking inside by the great Cynthia takeover..but that's another blog... and my nephew Chad and his wife Shannon showed up unexpectedly, announcing themselves as Jehovah's Witnesses. One interesting thing...these JW's had BEER! So we began our vacation by getting completely plastered on Vicki's front porch. A portent of things to come!

On Friday, when we finally got up, we headed off to Chris and Pam's house (my other nephew and his wife) armed with no less than 120 beers. That's 40 beers each if anyone is counting. We also had Monster Energy Drinks@ and a fifth of Bacardi@, and shot glasses. We were ready to parrrrtaaaaay!!!

And so, we did...For 2 solid days and nights! I will let the picture above do the talking for the most part. It does get boring talking about who got drunk and what they did or said that might not be funny to anyone but us. You would have to have been there, you know? I mean, I wonder how many times Mike asked if he had a booger? It was hilarious. I fell in the garage. Slipped on the concrete floor. Slammed my cheek into the work bench and landed on my expensive knees. Had to call for help. Pam came to the rescue, and when Eric came out to see what was wrong, he fell. (the floor was VERY slick) Pam and I helped him up, we couldn't stop laughing. Pam reached over to ask Eric if he was ok, Eric took another step, fell again, pulled Pam down on top of him. We were laughing so hard we couldn't breathe. I looked like someone had punched me in the face. Eric had a huge bruise on his butt. It was freaking awesome!

I played the guitar for the first time in 5 years. Sang with my family, felt...happy...contented.. realizing what I have missed for the past few years. Wish my brother had been there. Talk about playing guitar!!!! wow.. Maybe next time, Elwood? =)
It was good to see my mom. Old and frail, but still has a tongue that'll knock the crap out of your self-esteem at a moment's notice. I had prepared for it. I came home with my self-esteem intact for the first time ever. That in itself was quite an accomplishment, and well worth the time. Edward (Twilight Eclipse..Team Edward!) was awesome, of course, and no, Vicki, he did NOT have a booger!

Of course the time came, as it always does, when we had to come home. The trip home was great too. We sang and laughed and talked and had a great time. It took me a week to recover. I think I killed a few billion brain cells, but wow...what a blast!

All in all...it was a great vacation! I plan on doing it again a lot sooner, because I realized that I really miss my family. Allison had a blast with them, and it was good for her. I will not regret the time missed previously, though. Maybe things had to happen inside me before I could face my mom with confidence. Maybe I had to just be ready to accept everyone as they are. I don't know.. whatever it was, the time was definitely right, and I am changed. I belong now. I'm not the outsider, and it's really a great feeling. So I say, thank you Vicki, Chris, Pam, Chad, Shannon, Eric, Mike, and all the other random drunken people who floated through that Lost Weekend, thank you for the best time I've had in years!

So, pop a beer, drink a Monster Bomb (a moment of silence, please............), grab a guitar or turn on some music, and enjoy the company of those around you. If you don't have family, make one. If you do, well....try to "put the FUN in dysFUNctional". Enjoy the life you have, make memories with friends, and if you are lucky, with a great bunch of family who likes the same things you do.

Ahhhh....Vacation! Wish I could be there now..wait...do I have a booger???

Why I hate Internet Dating Sites!

Ok, first of all, if you want to get more than just someone you can meet on the street or in a bar, you gotta pay to be on a website. Sure, you can flirt, send little messages, but if anyone sends one back to you, you can't read it, or even see a picture, unless you pay. And you pay BIG! So I went on the one you see on TV all the time. Oh everybody is soooo happy, and so in love, yada yada yada... It's $59.95 a month! You can do a year for a lot less, but they charge ya $200 + at one time, so you are out the money and still don't know if they will be able to match you on the deepest level. I highly doubt if there are refunds. It's a crap shoot. As I've said before (possibly in this blog...sorry) I can get rejected for free.
But, my daughter encouraged me to try again, so I did. There is a free weekend coming up (how better to celebrate Independence Day than by getting hooked up with Mr Maybe Not Quite Right?) so I went ahead and took an hour and a half and answered all the questions, trying to be as honest and straightforward as possible. I thought I did fairly well. We shall see. Do I care? I'm not so sure about that....

The following are some of the answers that my "perfect matches" gave (and my comments on each.) You be the judge...is it worth $59.95 a month to be matched on these "deepest levels"???

When asked what books he has recently read: At this time, I read what is required for collage classes (maybe they'll teach him how to spell college while he's there...or maybe he's learning how to cut pictures out and paste them to a piece of cardboard for a nice dekorashun?)

When asked what the first thing people notice about him is: Im quit type.

Additional information: High risks reaps high reward; I do spend time up north in MI my home town. (It's risky up there in MI, huh??)

Occupation: i am gone alot (and how's that workin' out for ya?)

Three things he's thankful for: 1.that god being to me 2 that i all way being to take of my loveone. 3 that my health is still good thankful that other feeling come befor my onw i love alot like to laugh alot (wtf?)

Additional information: I don't have great table manners, but I will make you laugh. (Animal House anyone?? FOOD FIGHT!!!!!)

The first thing people notice about him: That I look mean but i am not (ha! says you!)
Which led naturally into the next question:
Additional information: Don't judge the book by the cover. No Photo no contact (isn't that kind of a contradiction?)

Things he wishes more people would notice about him: There is more to me than looks (if this is true, why don't people notice?)

The first thing people notice about Henry is : I go by Steve, not Henry (so....why did you put Henry on your profile? It's not like a legal document or anything...)

He likes to spend his leisure time: watch racing, building things, camping, having fun of any sort, shooting sports, fishing, hunting, 420 (In other words, gettin' stoned and shootin' guns an' animals an' shit!)

Oh, and the one that REALLY got me... When asked "Who was the most influential person in your life?" this guy answered: my wife. (now...is this ex-wife, late wife, CURRENT wife???)

There were more, some made me laugh out loud. Some were kind of sad. It took me about 5 minutes to figure out WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get.) I'm pretty sure that was Henry/Steve.

Anyway, I just wanted to share these little tidbits with you. Glimpses of the Caucasian, not Hispanic, 45-62 year old male population who go online hoping to meet the girl of their dreams. Hey, maybe they are blogging about the fact that I like Twilight, and cats, and movies, and that I admit to being a couch potato. Who knows? At least I spelled potato correctly!