Well, here I am! 3 weeks and not one cigarette! I really can't believe that I've made it without cheating myself one time. It's kind of interesting. I found that the only time I really really miss it is when I get in the car to drive home from work. So I have little paper straws to hold and that makes me feel better. I'm going to a party next Saturday, and I will be drinking some wine, I'm sure, so I'm hoping that I will be able to get through that without smoking. I have friends who have said they will support me. Whether that means not letting me smoke that night, or making sure I don't continue to smoke afterward...well, either way is fine with me. Thing is, I can breathe now. I smelled my perfume an hour after I put it on for the first time since I don't know when. I do have weird dreams...that's the Chantix..plus I always had weird dreams anyway. But I found that I have time now to do things around the house that would've been put off because I would've been smoking. Something that my support group (Chantix support group) says is..if it takes you 6 minutes to smoke one cigarette, and you smoke a pack a day, that's 2 HOURS you have spent in a day smoking! That was amazing to me.
Anyway, I'm doing great, got new shoes so I can walk better, started eating better, my house is coming together. It's great!
I'm still lonely, though..lol..had to throw that in there. But I'm a lot more comfortable than I was before. I suppose eventually I'll get over being lonely. Right now, I'm trying to learn to like being with myself. Trying to get my shit together before I'm too old to have any shit!
It's sad that we don't allow ourselves to enjoy the good things in our lives because we are afraid of the bad things that "might" happen. Don't know if that's Christian teaching or Murphy's law or what. But it is nice to pat myself on the back today and say...I did it! I'm going to try to keep my chins up and look forward to good things, and pray that they will come to not just me, but to my family and friends as well. I couldn't have come this far without you and I love you all!
Now, off to another week of work, and another week of not smoking..and maybe lose a pound or two! It really is a mindset..but oh so hard to get to... I have some words of wisdom spoken by that great prophet Anthony DiNozzo on NCIS:
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got.
Do something different today!
1 comment:
Go on with your bad self! I love it that you're seeing all these positive changes and am so, so happy for you. Just don't look back. If you see yourself as a non-smoker and try and identify yourself that way in situations that are tough, like in the car, out with friends, etc. it helps. That's what I did the last time I quit (haha). My problem is I looked back too many times. So keep looking ahead and doing what you're doing. You've got my support for sure, healthy lady :)
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