I lived! I made it through the surgery and fought my way to near sanity and now am enduring the post operative joy of constant aching and physical therapy! Hooray for me!
Actually things have been pretty good. Yesterday was a bad day...maybe because it was the 13th day? Don't know if I really believe all that, but I was depressed and feeling really helpless. Today is better, even though it's one of those wonderful dreary Indiana days where the sun doesn't shine and it won't rain. Like Narnia...always winter, never Christmas.
So, what does it feel like to suddenly have the possibility of making my life better? Making it everything I've always dreamed of? Scary as hell, that's how it feels! It's like quitting smoking and getting hit by a bus. What if I have gone through this and then I have a heart attack? What if I try to make my life better and it stays the same? So many things can go wrong...but then again, so many things can go right too. In my upbringing, I think I was taught to look at the half-empty glass. I try to look at the half-full glass, but more and more I'm just thankful I have a glass at all.
So, I'm trying to just get my act together, and trying to be patient because there are things I want to do but still can't. Now I'm going to go put my leg up and watch Harry Potter for the Umpteenth time. More to come!
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