4 days to blastoff!

It's Thursday. I have 2 more days to work, 2 weekend days to get everything together, and then it's time for a new knee! This is the second one, so I guess I haven't been too upset about it. But today when I was driving home from work, I started thinking about how it would be to try to drive. (It's my right knee...thank God for automatic trannys!) That got me thinking about all the things leading up to the actual surgery, and all of a sudden I was scared shitless.
I had one of those heart-stopping moments that made me realize how things can always go wrong, and what about my daughter, and what have I left this world to remember me by?
I have paintings that will be finally famous, a book that will be published partially finished, poems that have been rejected that will be compiled into a bunch of Hallmark cards.
Not really a good thing to think about I guess, but maybe it is. After all, it does happen to us all eventually. And I want to see the fruits of my labors. So my New Year's resolution...3 months late...is that once I'm healed up, I am going to start figuring out how to get my stuff out there. Maybe I'll publish that book. Or maybe I'll just put it here on this blog. Someone will read it. If people who read it enjoy it...isn't that the whole point? Sure, I'd like to make money from it, but hey...it's tough out there for authors. Although I know what I've written is better than some of the crap I've read!
And my paintings....they are really really good. I've sold some... and someday that person will be able to say, oh yeah, I've got 6 originals, they are worth $100,000 a piece. Now that is a nice thought.
We all want to leave our mark on this world. We have kids and hope that they have better lives than we did. We do all we can but eventually they are on their own and make their own choices. They are ours, but they are not ours forever.
The words I put on paper or on here are mine. Even if someone steals them, they are still mine. The paintings I do, the drawings, they are mine. My heart and soul put down on paper for all to see. These things are me.
Sometime maybe I'll get some of the paintings posted on here. I took pictures, ya know? Then the reader may judge for himself. Till then..let's all look inside and think...
I have a life-changing event happening to me in 5 days. What will I do with my life on day 6 to make it happier, to make it mine? Will I carry on in the same-shit-different-day life I live now, or will I start taking steps to change my little corner of the world?
As for me, I have my art stuff ready and my fingers limbered up.
I'm gonna rock my own world!