1. Buy a wonderful new bed!
2. Get a great night’s sleep.
3. Reach over to the nightstand to answer the call from your sister.
4. Roll over and fall 3 ½ feet to the floor and land on your $100,000 knees.
5. Cuss
6. Try to get foot untangled from sheet. Rip a hole in your brand-new sheet.
7. Cuss
8. Try to stand up and talk on the phone at the same time.
9. Cuss
10. Tell sister you will call her back. Hang up.
11. Cuss
12. Take a deep breath and get under control.
13. Lay down on your belly and begin scooting backwards to the end of the bed.
14. Get elbow untangled from the extension cord on the floor.
15. Cuss
16. Ignore the fact that your nightgown is now up around your armpits.
17. Scoot, Cuss, Scoot
18. Realize you really have to pee.
19. Cuss
20. Get to the end of the bed. Try to get up on your knees.
21. Scream because they hurt…you just FELL on them, idiot!
22. Ignore the fact that the cats are all staring at you.
23. Cuss at the damn cats.
24. Try to remember how you got up when you fell down on the back porch last year.
25. Put right foot back, slip on carpet.
26. Cuss
27. Put right foot back again, then put left foot back.
28. Dig painful ingrown toenails into carpet.
29. Cuss
30. Raise up on elbows, then to palms.Walk legs up toward hands.
31. Stand up, run to bathroom before you wet your pants.
32. Cuss
33. Call frantic sister back. Assure her that you are ok. Hang up.
34. Cuss
35. Cry
36. Cuss
37. Make sure everything is still moving correctly.
38. Laugh
39. Cuss
40. Do not repeat!
2 comments:
You simply said on FB that you fell out of bed...did not realize how much more there was to the story...hysterical! Bless your heart...please be more careful!
Karen, Eli is actually Teasie...grandson apparently did not sign out last time he was on my computer :-)
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