Let's do the Time Warp again!!!!

Ok, is it just me, or is time just flying by? Used to, work days dragged on and on. Now they are going almost as quickly as the weekends. What's up with that? I don't think it's just getting older. Even my 25 year old daughter says time flies. Now at work, where things are hectic and stressful, the time just goes on by. My sister sends me an email saying the clock has stopped, and yet it still is only a few minutes and it's time to go home. Once I get home...forget it...it's time for bed! I don't understand it. Weekends? They used to last a long time...well, a longer time... and now they are just zoom zoom and back to Monday to do it all over again. SSDD...ad infinitum...Pay days are the worst! Two weeks with no money, then I pay the bills, go to the store, get gas in the car and wonder where the money went. On Saturday, I'm back to square one. I might have a little bit left to get a little something, but not much. But that's ok...payday will be here again in about ...15 minutes.

I wonder if it is living in the present that makes me this way now. I try really really hard to not dwell on past mistakes, or even past triumphs. Seems like reality is in another dimension or something. I do spend a lot of time watching movies...but that's still just a couple of hours out of the day. I don't know.

But as time rolls on, I'm happy to be in a situation where it's not dragging by day after day after day with no hope for anything better tomorrow. (that was my marriage...yuk yuk)

I saw a saying the other day, "Normal Day, let me be aware of the treasure you are." I got to thinking about that, and I thought...how many people are facing horrific things on this day that is so normal for me? How many would give anything just to have to get up and drive 30 min to work? How many of them are crying over marriages that are falling apart, or the death of someone precious to them? Stuck in a situation that seems hopeless..no way out? How many are addicted and don't know how to stop? Without becoming too maudlin, I remember what it was like to be in those situations. How long the days seemed to be when there was no life but parties and long lonely nights and a bleak future.

*shiver*

I guess what I'm trying to say is this...I'm thankful for my normal days because there is always an abnormal day lurking somewhere in the future for us all. The time is flying because I have been blessed with normal days for now. It's all relative, Einstein.

So, let's get out of the car and walk up the road to the castle. I think the dancing has begun..

Let's do the Time Warp again!

Good Times!

I have so many things in my life I'm thankful for. One is that I have the freedom to end a sentence with a preposition. hehehe..
Even though there are also so many things to worry about, especially since our country seems to be on the verge of revolution, but I find that I am content. Not that I don't care, but maybe it's just that...at the age of 54 I am finally coming into my own. I finally have a house that I love, my daughter is now on her own and seems to be doing well, and I have friends. My brother and sister are my friends, too, and sometimes that's a rare thing in this day and age. So every morning while I'm driving to work, I thank God that I have another day to live and love and laugh. Maybe it's naive, stupid, whatever, but it's what I do.
Last night, I threw a party and there were 15-20 people here...I didn't get a good count...but we all had a great time, and I felt the LOVE....lol. There are some people who didn't come that I wish would have, and some who couldn't come that I wish could have, but my daughter and some of her friends were here, my best friend and some of her family were here, friends from work, and it was just awesome to me. Some of the dreams I had for this house have come true.
No, I don't make a lot of money still, I don't have much in the way of "things" and I do live in a country where there is turmoil. But I can go thru my days knowing that someone out there has my back, and ultimately God has my back. So, I'm going to try my best to not worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will take care of itself. Today, and in my memories, Let the Good Times Roll......

Lasagna for Dinner!

I guess about my favorite thing that I make is my Lasagna. I found a recipe about 15 years ago in the good ol' Betty Crocker Cookbook, but I've since made enough adjustments so that I can truly call it "MY" lasagna. In fact, I usually don't measure stuff, so this was weird! I love lasagna cause it makes this big pan and you can have it for dinner, lunch the next couple of days, midnight snacks, take some to work for friends....whatever! And it just always turns out good. Put some spinach in it if you need veggies, or have veggies with my cheese dip. Now the story of the cheese dip is this...there is a restaurant in ..well maybe I'd better not say...anyway, SUPPOSEDLY, one of the employees let slip to a friend of a friend of mine the "secret" recipe for their cheese dip, who let it slip to me. For a really long time, I didn't share it, but now...oh well... I can't see a restaurant really making the dip this way, although you never know. I have included that recipe as well, cause it's really good. Also, here is a picture of the actual lasagna and cheese dip I made tonight, just to tempt you. So, without further ado.....bon appetit!

Here is my Lasagna recipe:

1 lb of Italian Sausage, crumbled

1/2 onion, diced

1/2 green pepper, diced

Brown these all together, drain if necessary, then add:

2 cans diced tomatoes (15 oz)

1 can tomato paste (small)

1 tomato paste can of water

1 tbsp Italian seasoning

1 tbsp parsley

1 tsp basil

1 1/2 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp sugar

1/2 tsp garlic powder

stir it all up, turn heat to low, cover and let simmer for about 1/2 hour.

Meanwhile, mix:

1 lb ricotta cheese

1/4 cup parmesan cheese

1 tbsp oregano

1 egg

put the layers together in a 13 x 9 pan sprayed with cooking spray

Like so:

• lasagna noodles cooked al dente and drained (cook 9, use 3 at a time)


• sauce


• ricotta cheese mixture


• mozzarella cheese (lots of it! I use about 4 1/2 cups total)

repeat,

end with noodles, sauce and mozzarella on top

Cover with foil, bake at 450 for 15 min then turn down to 350 for 45 min. I take the foil off for the last 10 min to let the cheese get brown and bubbly.

Let stand for about 5 min, if you can wait, then serve.

YUM!

Cheese Dip for Veggies

This is awesome with Italian food, or just any old time!

2 packages Kraft Mac & Cheese (Kraft is the best)

2 bars of cream cheese

garlic powder to taste, I use about 1/4 tsp

soften the cream cheese*

put about a tablespoon of water in a bowl and mix in the garlic powder and the cheese sauce powder from the Mac & Cheese. Make a necklace out of the macaroni, if desired!

Mix till smooth and then add the softened cream cheese.

Smoosh it all around and mix really well. Put in fridge overnight. Eat with favorite veggies.

Try to not eat too much!

*I have used the soft cream cheese before. It's easier, but it's just not as good.

The Sad Saga of Patty O'Furniture

Once upon a time in a very nice house in Indiana, there lived a woman who had a deck on her house for the first time....
Ok, that's how it would start if I was writing a fairy tale, but, alas, this is a true story. About 2 months ago, Aldi had a patio table & chairs and a glider for sale. The total for both of them was $300. I was talking to my sister about them, and she talked to mom, and, well, they decided to help me to get them. They paid half on it. So, knowing that the money was coming, I went to Aldi and, of course, none of them had any of either in stock. I was frustrated, but my daughter and I decided to check out Kmart down the road. We found a patio set that was absolutely FABULOUS. And it was the right price, but on sale. But of course, I only had half the money I needed right then, so we decided to leave.
On the way out, we spied a pizza place in the store and decided to have some pizza. While we were waiting, my daughter looked over and saw a sign that said "LAYAWAY"! Well, who in the world has layaway anymore???? So we took that as a sign and put the whole patio set on layaway!
Ohhh...sooo excited. I showed the picture from the website to anyone who would look, and faithfully showed up at Kmart every other week to make my payment on the furniture. Finally, my last payment was due this past Friday, and it was time to bring the furniture home!!! I could hardly wait to go get it. My daughter came home from work, we cleaned out the trunk of my car and took off to Kmart.
We walked back to Layaway (why is it always in the very back of the store??) and waited in line for about half an hour, made the payment, and then waited another 15 min while the stock guy went in search of our furniture.
Then...it happened. Andrew (the layaway guy) came walking up and said that they had lost my umbrella...ella...ella...hey hey..pffft... There wasn't one in patio and there wasn't one in the back. So, trying to not be discouraged, I got the money back for the umbrella. We took the rest of the furniture out to the car, and it didn't fit. The stock guy said that he wouldn't recommend us putting it in the trunk or even trying to put it in the car, because it was glass and might break. I didn't know what to do, but decided to just get the money back for the rest, and go look elsewhere.
So, on Saturday, I went off on the Great Patio Furniture Hunt. I found a set, and it was beautiful! I made sure to ask if it was in stock and the guy said oh yes. I paid for it, same price too, and told him I would pick it up as soon as I could get help. This morning, my daughter and I went in to the store to get the furniture. The manager came up to me and when I told him what I was there for, he said that when they went to get the table from the back, there wasn't one. So they were going to give me the display table. It was dropped, the glass broke. I couldn't believe it! He said that his manager was going to go get another one tomorrow and I could get it, but you know....my daughter and I were thinking about it and it just suddenly didn't feel right. It was like it was a sign or something...not supposed to have one...I don't know. But I got my money back from there too.
I went shopping again tonight, I hate shopping, but third time's a charm, right? WRONG!
I got a vacuum cleaner and "My Bloody Valentine" in 3D.
I know a sign when I see one.

Another Day in Paradise!

Well, I don't know if Indiana is paradise or not, but it's been a pretty good day. I've not been feeling the best. Trying to fight off the blahs that come from still having pain from my stupid falling on Memorial Day. But I keep trying. I've got the gardening bug now. I want so bad to get out and dig in the dirt, but can still only do a little at a time. I do it anyway. My petunias are beautiful, my pansies...welll...they died.. too much water, not enough drainage, I believe. Live and learn, I guess.. My tomato plant is in a coffee can and has grown to 3 feet. I think it's time to transplant! And a friend gave me a rosebush. A climbing rosebush with the very appropriate name "Stairway to Heaven". It is still in a pot, and growing like crazy. The roses will be red. I've never had a rosebush before. It's a little daunting, and I have been reading everything I can get my hands on about how to make it grow into the thing of beauty I just KNOW it's going to be!
I have one more payment on my patio table set, and I'm really really excited about having a cookout and sitting around playing cards afterwards under my new umbrella, ella, ella... So things are going pretty well. Just maintaining my sanity and trying to remember to BEND my knee when I walk, so I don't limp. It'll be better. Doc said it would take about 4 weeks to get back to where I was before I fell, so this is week 2 starting today.
I'm getting ready to start making Christmas stockings, so if there are any orders, now is the time!
So, ttfn from Paradise...if you pack your bags you can leave tonight! See you at the cookout!

The last week of May is here. It's starting to feel like summer a little outside. Some days it's hard to stay at work, like today when it was 78 degrees and low humidity...go outside to smoke and never want to go back.
I have had a hurdle this past week to get over. I had my first fall after my knee surgery on Memorial Day. I was really feeling good that day. My daughter was at work,and I was cleaning like crazy. I had a bag of trash to put in the outside can, and it was pouring rain, but I didn't care. It needed to go out.
So I stepped out onto the deck and went down like a ...well, I don't know what I went down like! I just know that it only took a second, and I thought for sure that $50,000 had been wasted on my left knee. Well, long story short, I was able to get back inside, and I was really upset. Called my daughter at work and scared her half to death. (I don't think she'll ever forgive me for that!) and called the doctor. On Tuesday, I had xrays done, and my implants are fine. I just bruised the knee, and what a relief!
Thing is, it was really getting me down to once again be in pain. But I was determined to get past it and start doing things again. I gave myself a couple of days to rest my knees, and then I started getting up and doing again. I am happy to say that today I feel fantastic, even better than before the fall, and I'm once again looking forward to working around the house and getting my life in gear!
But I don't recommend falling...it freakin' hurt! =)

Checkup

Had my 8, 9, 10...some week..checkup yesterday. It was a really good one. I don't have to go back to Dr. B for 3 months and if everything is ok then...never again...well, for 20 years or so anyway! I had him show me my first x rays. The ones he took way back in July 2008 when he gave me that terrible news that I was going to have to have surgery..and not just on one, on both! I cried all day. I was so scared! But now, almost a year later, I walk without pain! Anyway, back to the x rays. It was amazing to see those knees all bone-on-bone and bent inward. I was all knock-kneed and crooked and didn't even realize it. Then he showed me my knees now. It was amazing! They are even and straight and, well, titanium...but they are no longer bowed inward. I walk straight now. I hardly ever spill my coffee at work when I'm walking back to my desk. It is an awesome thing. I thought for years that I would never be able to live a day without pain again. Even though my knees still have aches in the muscles cause they are both still healing, it's not PAIN...it's not "oh God let me sit down before I pass out" pain. It's not "sweating-with-the-effort-of-just-standing" pain. It's just pain that will get better. I'm so happy I got brave enough to go ahead and have the surgeries. I have $100,000 knees now! lol. So, for insurance, I am also VERY thankful! So...I have to get off the computer now. I have clothes to wash (in the basement!) and trash to take out, and just walkin' around the house to do! TTFN!

Better Now

Ah, faithful readers...thank you for allowing me the little backslide into depression on Sunday. I am grateful I was able to share what was in my heart. Now, I am grateful to be able to share the brighter side of this life.
After spending all day yesterday sitting on the couch (I think Bill was off in Boot Camp..) and thinking of all the things that have come and gone, I have come out the other side into the sunlight! This is totally cool because A) that's where I need to be and B) since it only took a couple of days to get back, that means that I didn't slip so far back after all! This is a GOOD thing!
At work, things are pretty much SSDD..mergers, acquisitions, insurance companies, please hold for the next available representative, etc. So, we won't talk about work here today.
Home, on the other hand, has improved dramatically in just a few days. I have done some things over the weekend that I never thought I'd be able to do. I walked around Walmart for an hour, walked around Kroger for an hour, and today I walked around Aldis for 1/2 hour. I had enough stamina to do this and still come home and put up the groceries! This is an accomplishment! This is the beginning of saving the world! I bought pansies, petunias, geraniums and they are sitting on my porch in the sunshine giving off life and beauty and bringing me happiness every time I look at them.
The dishes are washed, and I am going to make something deeeeelishus for dinner!
Even though two days ago, I felt really down and depressed, by the middle of the day yesterday (I took a "mental-health" day....translation: called in sick) I was beginning to see the good things that are happening to me.
Rome wasn't built in a day, and I won't get to where I want to be in a day. But I'm on my way now because I know I can do this! I can make my life worthwhile, and overcome the negative feelings that I have had in the past.
So, Billy Boy, you go off and save the world. I am going to stay here and BUILD a world. It's gonna be faaaaaaaantastic!

Stripes

Stripes...Bill Murray...loser joins Army...saves the world. BUT,before he saves the world, he drives a taxi cab in New York City. He quits his job, but remembers the pizza and his girlfriend's dry cleaning. Unfortunately, everything gets dropped and dirty, when he gets home and his car is being repossessed, the pizza sticks to the box top, the dry cleaning gets dirty and his girlfriend has had it. She leaves. He flops on the couch and says, "..and then, depression set in."


This is how I have been feeling lately. I survived not just one but two total knee replacement surgeries. I am recovering just fine. But I have fallen back into an old thinking pattern that I thought I had a handle on long ago.

In my dreams lately (when I sleep long enough to dream!) I am running. I am playing games in the yard with my daughter. But the main thing is, my dreams match my life in that there is NO PAIN. Then I wake up. The pain in my knees is minimal. But when I'm awake, I realize the truth. I will have to lose alot of weight before I will ever be able to run. So nothing has really changed yet. This is the same reason I was never able to make myself lose weight before. I felt like I would go through all the weight loss and nothing would change. I would still be the same inside. So, I've had this surgery, and I have no more excuses. I can walk, I can exercise, I can do the things that will really and truly change my life. I am scared to death, I really am.

It's not that I feel like I'm horrible inside or anything. I think I'm pretty damn awesome and I'm really proud of myself that I have overcome the handicap of being fat AND mostly crippled to get as far as I have in life. I have it in me to be everything I am meant to be if I'll just get off the couch and do it.

But right now, I'm flopped on the couch with Bill feeling sorry for myself and wondering if all the plants are gonna die. I'm not sure how I will handle it. I can't join the Army. I can't quit my job and do something else in this troubled time. I have the house I've always wanted, my daughter is getting herself together, my cats love me...what more do I need? A man? Not right now. Not till I get past all this, because I know how easy it is for me to slip right back into the "nothing matters" part of my psyche.

So...how will I handle it? I will wash a few dishes. I will take the trash out to the curb. I will walk (slowly and carefully) down the basement steps and do my laundry. I will fix something decent to eat. I will get up, go to work, and I will walk without limping. Then maybe I'll feel more able to make a screen for my back door, dig up the dead bush in the front yard and plant my lilac bush, pull the weeds in the flower bed and plant some bulbs for next year. One step, one day at a time.

Get off the couch with me, Billy Boy. We are off to save the world....eventually.

Life is what happens....

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. - John Lennon

So...I was making other plans. My house was a disaster area because I was still recuperating from knee surgery. But I didn't care. I knew it was going to get better. I knew that eventually I would feel good enough to get up off my ever-expanding ass and do something about it.

But life happens, and now my daughter has moved back home. The house is worse than a disaster! There is stuff everywhere and now it looks like we just moved in. I have decided not to stress about it, and am trying to come up with "other plans" so that it will end up being a good time for us two grown-ups to spend together. Not to mention it's like starting from scratch and it's time to rearrange furniture!

First of all, let me say that I am not upset that my daughter has moved back. She tried so hard, but she was really doing it all on her own. Her roommate was, unfortunately, unable to find work. Then the person they were renting the apartment from decided she didn't want that to happen anymore and basically kicked them out. So my daughter is back, and SHE is upset about it. But I think everyone knows that it's the best thing to do. It is temporary and we both know it.

Second, I know it's going to be difficult for her now that she has had that taste of freedom to be back home living with mom. I am planning on staying out of her business as much as I possibly can, and I am planning on continuing on with my "plans" to start crafting and painting, just like I was before. I NEED to do that! I need to make things, to make clothes for myself, and crafts for people to buy. I am hoping that this bump in the road will be just that...a molehill, not a mountain.

Third, I'm glad to have the time this summer for the two of us to maybe get this house in shape so that when she leaves next time, I won't be so overwhelmed with the things that need to be done. Seems like everything was such a rush last time when she moved, we didn't get a lot of things finished. So, with her helping me a little, I will feel much better about things when she moves the next time.

So all in all it's a good thing. And if it's not, well, I'm determined to MAKE it a good thing. Because this is life...the plans are still there, but life is happening now. Thanks, John, for those words of wisdom.